My husband and our lack of life?..How do i get him to be more open in talking about this?

Maybe for him it's y when you come on to him? Some guys are just like that. He's obviously waiting for you to make the move and if you really want you'd go for it. Some guys just like for women to be more ertive. It may give him a sense of control/ makes him feel more masculine by making you come to him. And it may take extra work to arouse him because he is over the age of 40, OH maybe he has erectile dysfunction have him go to the doctor for a check up because erectile dysfunction can be a sign of a more serious problem. Even if he may be embarring for him you really need to get him to see a doctor just in case.