SO THE PUBLIC HEALTH INSPECTOR RECIEVES A REPORT ABOUT A CAFE THAT IS A HEALTH HAZARD.Off he goes in disguise?

to see.In he walks to the dirty shithole ,flies everywhere,dirty plates,food on the floor,bad smells.He asks the owner for a cake and cup of tea,The bloke finishes scratching his aarse,rakes a crow from his nose and picks up a manky cake.The inspector is mortified and issues an immediate closure order to old dirty bolllocks,who says he is so ,so sorry,he is having a hard time at home and will neverlet it get in such a state again.The inspector says if he cleans up the joint in 1 week and can demonstrate how a cafe should be run,then he may allow him to open again.1 week later the inspector calls and is amazed ,crystal clear gl,gleaming cutlery and plates ,spotless floor and walls ,WOW He enthuses,this is superb,asks for a cake,and is presented with a lovely cream tart with cake tongs,then notices the owner has string hangin out of his flies,inspector asks why,he says" to pull me nob out without touchin it when i go to the bog"then he asks how he gets it back"With these tongs"he says